>Billy the Kid vs Dracula.R>a film review by Porkchop Express.R>R> r> This film belongs in a catagory I like to refer to as The Lost Genres... Y'know, like cliffhanger serials or blaxploitation flicks, the Horror/Fantasy Western has went the way of the do-do bird and vanished from the face of the Earth. Unlike the above mentioned other two "Lost genres", the mix of wild west sheenanigans and elements of the imagination just never seemed to click with the movie-going public, making one wonder why the people behind such projects even bothered. Or, more likely, "What the hell were they thinkin'/drinkin'?" (your choice). R>R> "Billy the Kid vs. Dracula" is one of these types of films. While good for a few unintentional laughs, the reason for it's existence boggles my mind. Was it the fact that Westerns and Horror films at the time of this production were the two most profitable types of movies to make that led to the decision to mix elements from both into one film? Let's hope so, because if this was someone's idea of artistic expression (seeing as how money or art are the only reasons in my mind to make a film), we're either dealing with the visions of a madman or a talentless hack . R>R> The Plot: "Billy the Kid vs. Dracula" opens out on the range, with an elderly European couple (if one is to take their forced accents for granted)and their daughter Lisa camping out under the stars of a beautiful day-for-night shot. "Mama" awakens from a terrible nightmare, probably brought on by the chirping (no, really) of the rubber bat hovering just above the family wagon. She begins ranting about vampires and checks the darling Lisa, and after she's confident that she hasn't been violated by nosferatu, resumes her nightly rest. This scene confirms that Europeans (even ones with cheesy accents), much like the underworld element of Gotham City, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. Enter stage right John Carradine (jeez, was this guy always 100 years old....)as the fiendish king of vampires, Dracula. Dressed very much like Mandrake the Magician (or the Wizard of Gore, take yer pick),he startles the now-awakened Lisa and hits her with what I've affectionately deemed "The Ol' Vampire Hyp-Mo-Tize Whammy", which seems to involve shinin' a red heat lamp into Carradine's face and havin' him look all scary and stuff. I could be mistaken, though, for this may be a natural reaction for Ol' John, turnin' beet red from embarrassment because he was involved in such a shoddy production, but sadly one will never know, for he has passed away, and his son David (of Deathrace 2000 and Kung-Fu fame) has rightfully taken on his father's mantle of King of the Hammy Actors who appear in no-budget drivel. (For a more accurate portrayal of the Ol' Vampire Hyp-Mo-Tize Whammy, check out the jpeg section of this review). R>R> We are then introduced to Billy the Kid (portrayed by Chuck Courtney), who we find has given up his life of crime and reformed. He now has a job as foreman on the Bentley ranch, and is in love with the lovely Betty Bentley (Melinda Plowman), whom he plans to marry, if he can get the permission from Betty's long lost uncle, her only livin' relative...well, that is, he was alive...until ol' Drac stopped his stage coach and murders him, then decided to take his place. Oh yeah...and the aforementioned elderly European couple? After their daughter dies from severe blood loss, Billy runs across them in their period of mourning and offers them a job at the ranch. Don't ya just love pleasant coincidences? R>R> Well...to make a long story short: Drac shows up posin' as Betty's uncle, gets on Billy's bad side by firin' him as foreman and forbiddin' him from seein' Betty (because after Drac sees a picture of her, he gets the hots for her...maybe that's why his face gets all red and stuff when he applies the Whammy on her...he's all flustered and twitterpated.), the kindly old European woman gives Billy an education in the Van Helsing technique of vampire disposal, Drac and Billy fight (durin' the daytime...one of the things I found hilarious about this movie is not only the huge number of Day-for-Nigt shots, but Carradine as a vampire rompin' around in the daylight...ya kinda feel sorry for him), endin' with a wooden stake through Drac's chest (off screen thankfully) and a cut back to a plastic skeleton wearin' a black cape. THE END. R>R> Carridine considered this to be his worst flick ( I personally think John shoulda rethought that, after seein' "The Unearthly"), and stated that he did it mostly for money, which he needed to support his Shakespeare theatrical company. "Billy the Kid vs. Dracula" was directed by William Beaudine, who got his start in the silent era and is best known for directing Bowery Boys shorts, "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla" (1952), and an incredible 70 (!) episodes of "Lassie". Nominated for a Golden Turkey award, this film has gone on to become a minor cult classic, and was shown originally on a doublebill with the even more ridiculous soundin' "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter", which was also directed by Beaudine and starred Jim Davis, who would later go on to become known for the role of Jock Ewing on the late night soap opera, "Dallas". Highly recommended for PSYCHOTRONIC fans and people who will watch anything with rubber bats in it. Good Luck finding a copy, because I believe it's currently out of print on VHS, but you can probably still find a copy somewhere on the internet. Ironically, "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" was recently released on VHS and DVD by MGM, as part of their Midnight Movies collection. Both films appear from time to time on TNT and TBS, usually on the same night, because I believe Ted Turner's media empire owns the television broadcast rights....
	>Mobius Infinity.....>Athanon.